Life Without Strife

“A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm,” Proverbs 27:15 (NIV).

Women have so much to offer this world.  In the great history of humankind, women have stood up to achieve so much.  Some women give birth, some women go to battle.  Women have the soft and sensitive hearts to nurture others, but the backbone and strength to measure up to life’s heaviest burdens.  What a tragic circumstance that we live in a society where women think they are cuter and more fascinating if they are constantly sassy, snarky or sarcastic.

I say this because I know I can be guilty of this myself.  I often let a sharp remark overshadow my better nature.  This is not at all to say that I think women do not have value in being a little feisty.  I was not raised by a quiet, flimsy, powerless woman, nor was I raised by her to be one.  But how much stronger and more powerful I would be if I let my words be kind.  Especially with my husband and others who love me!

But how often do we see it – a woman who is genuinely friendly and sweet and greets everyone with a smile, but then turns to her husband in sarcasm for every reply.  Sometimes I think society tells us that it’s cute, that, “she doesn’t take any crap from anyone!”  Or, “she’s just so cute and sassy!”  But how awkward it is to be witness to these exchanges, unsure to laugh because she thinks she is funny, or grimace for the husband who is embarrassed.  You can be spunky without being unkind!

It is annoying.  It is annoying like a leaky roof in a rainstorm.  The kind of annoying that makes you cringe after a while.  This Proverb gives good counsel – as God’s Word is apt to do!  It is sage advice from ages ago, and proof that human nature is pretty much a guarantee.

This is not to say that I don’t think men have some work to do, too.  There is plenty advice about loving, cherishing and respecting women.  There is plenty to be said about unkind or cruel men.  As it is written, first let me remove the beam from my own eye before I try to remove the speck from theirs (Matthew 7:5 NIV).

There are times that call for strong words, but especially with my husband, those words should not be in front of an audience.  Let me show the respect that I would want to be shown to me, and save that for private conversation.  Some people live lives full of strife, contention, and conflict, but that is not what I want for myself.

“Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24 (NIV)


  1. So true! Kindness is not a weakness, it is a strength! To be kind to your husband, to grant him grace, does not mean you are subservient to him - but instead that you are his equal. I think some women forget that a marriage is meant to be a partnership between equals and not a battleground for power or supremacy.


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