Learning The Hard Way
I try to do most things right. I drink a lot of water, I am very active, I sleep on a regular schedule, and I eat a decently healthy diet. So I have always kind of shrugged it off that I had my little vices, like my addiction to Diet Pepsi, because I am already doing so many things right that what is one little thing?
I have always had an addictive personality. I have trouble moderating things. I can’t just allow myself one Diet Pepsi a week. Then it becomes every day, then twice a day, and the next thing you know I am swimming in a chemical cesspool.
I remember back in high school, I would walk to school sometimes with a coffee in one hand and a Pepsi in the other. I went off of liking coffee at some point in my late teens or early twenties and have never enjoyed it since then, but the Pepsi fascination stuck. I eventually switched to Diet, which I loved even more than regular, and that continued on until I was about twenty-two or twenty-three.
I have always had some level of gastrointestinal distress. I am lactose intolerant and have several other digestive issues that cause me discomfort and finally, I realized soda was making it worse. I felt like I was burning a hole through myself (think of Helen in Death Becomes Her). So I quit cold turkey and stayed away from all sodas and carbonated drinks for years, nearly a decade.
My weakness for diet fountain soda caught up with me just as I was starting to lose weight and I decided that I was working so hard losing weight that I sort of owed myself a treat. What a disaster. What started off very reasonably soon was out of control (as I knew would happen). I have been me long enough to know.
I get very cranky when people start lecturing me about what I shouldn’t do health-wise, especially when they are not exactly following all of the rules either. I shouldn’t drink diet soda, but you shouldn’t spend 6 hours an evening sitting on the couch, either. So the more snarky condemnation I got about drinking diet soda, the more defiant I got. My mom would probably say this is typical behavior from me.
Sometimes I learn the hard way, and this was one of those times. I started feeling bloated more and more, and again had that feeling of a hole burning through me at times. So on October 20th, I drank my last diet soda. I fully expected a period of withdrawal headaches and cravings, but so far the only thing I have noticed is that I feel better.
So, farewell to my little canned friends and the delightful sound they make when they crack open. I will miss you, but you are bad for me.
I will never give up chocolate though. Never.