My Most Embarrassing Experience

Nine years ago this week, I was living the true life story that would one day become known as “Bubba’s Terlet.”

This is a true story, and not for the faint of heart.  Those who can’t appreciate this sort of humor have been warned!

My husband and I had only been married for a couple of years, and we were traveling across the country to be with his family for a funeral.  I have always been plagued by digestive disorders, and they become worse when I travel.  I’d spent much of the journey feeling sick to my stomach, but felt like maybe I was starting to feel better once we had arrived.

We were staying with his beloved uncle, whom I love dearly, and we had been sleeping for a while in the bedroom there when I woke up in absolute agony.    As my husband dozed, untroubled by my condition, I became entrenched in the “Bubba’s terlet” story, where I could only wonder if I was going to need to call an ambulance or a plumber, or both.

Sparing the harrowing details of my experience, I will summarize by stating that it ended with me finally leaving an apologetic but very honest note confessing my crime on the bathroom door when I finally, in sweet relief, went back to bed.  It had not occurred to me at this point to beg my husband to take the blame for this – though you can rest assured that I would insist upon it if it happened now!  I was fairly certain that I had destroyed the plumbing – but was momentarily relieved that I had not died in the process!

Needless to say, this was the most embarrassing experience of my life, and my husband’s uncle could not have been more gracious about it.  He didn’t make me feel embarrassed at all (though that could not be helped, by morning I wished I would have just died in the effort and spared myself this new agony!), and he never once brought it up to me again.

After my father passed away, we played a lot of word games, and “Bubba’s terlet” became a common answer to things, and we all found relief from our sadness through laughter.  I finally sent a text message to his uncle and asked him if he remembered that day, and he was as sweet and funny about it as he had been at the time.

However, I am fairly certain that when I die if my siblings are left in charge of writing my obituary, this story will make it in there!

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