Father's Day

As many of you know, I lost my dad during Christmastime of 2016 after a long and difficult illness.  This will be my second Father's Day without him.

What surprises me most is how very unsorry I feel for myself at this time.  Instead, I feel very blessed that I was so lucky to have such a wonderful dad and for so long.  For the first thirty-three years of my life, I had an unwavering champion, a source of unconditional love, and a perfect match for my temper and wits.

No matter how prepared you are, you're never ready to lose a parent.  My siblings and I discovered this, and as lucky as we have felt to have had him for as long as we did, you cannot help but have that bereft, childish feeling at the loss of such a strong figure in your life, even as an adult.

Most of you did not know my dad personally, but it's possible that you have seen him.  You may have seen him in my mom's tender, enthusiastic stories of their life together.  You may have seen him in my brother's smile or laughter.  You may have caught of a glimpse of him in my oldest sister's sense of humor.  You may have gotten to know him through my youngest sister's compassionate spirit.  In all of my siblings, you can see his remarkable generosity, his passion for life, and his gift for making people feel welcome.

In the weeks after my dad's death, I was afraid that for the rest of my life I would be overwhelmed by the shock and grief of watching someone's life slip away.  Far from that, instead I have been overwhelmed by the memory of life and love that he left behind him.  Every time I think of my dad, it is with a smile, and a remembrance of all that he was and how great a legacy he left behind him.

If my dad could see our family now, he would tell my siblings how proud he is of all they have achieved in their lives in the year and a half that has passed.  Not only for how much they have achieved, but for how well they have achieved it.  In one of his last conversations with me, he noted that we would do just fine without him - not a self-pitying note, but one of pride, knowing he had invested his best in us.  And so he did...and those investments continue to reap their reward daily in our lives.

So, to all of the great dads out there today, Happy Father's Day.  May the legacy of love you leave behind be as vibrant as that of my dad's.


  1. The line, "a perfect match for my temper and wits" is totally how I remember your dad! I am all misty eye'd after reading this post and have a rush of emotions, but I've shared all of those privately with you before so I won't reiterate them here. I will say a final thank you to your dad for being the catalyst that brought us back together as friends, because having you in my life makes me a better person, in no small part because of the amazing man your dad was and the amazing woman he raised you to be (and the awesome woman your mom is too and how she raised you, don't want to neglect her incredible contributions to how spectacular you turned out, but we're focusing on your dad here lol) <3


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