Showing posts from June, 2021

Poem: Bullied


Even at My Worst

The last eight months have been by far the most challenging of my life. Divorce is so much more than just being sad. It is the dismantling of a life. It is the resignation of some dreams. It is a costly, bureaucratic nightmare. It seems that every event in life that brings the most sadness also brings the most paperwork. I am a resilient person but the months have taken their toll on me. My energy has been low and my attention span has suffered badly. There was about a six-week period in Q1 where I existed primarily on caffeine all day and melatonin at night.  But I still showed up. Every single day. I maintained my training schedule in the gym. I took only my scheduled rests, and sometimes I trained with dread and low energy, but I showed up. I maintained a decent level of nutrition. If anything, I took better care of myself, not worse, knowing how badly my body and my mind needed the consistency. I worked. Sometimes not as efficiently as I normally do, but I did not miss a single day

If You're Not Rowing in My Boat, Get Out!

I read a quote that said, "make sure everybody in your 'boat' is rowing and not drilling holes when you're not looking."  I had a friend that I had known for a very long time, since I was about fifteen. She and I had a tumultuous friendship, and I think to some degree we both felt like we were going to "reform" the other person. And I am not going to deny that there are some ways she improved my life. But one thing she often said to me - especially in our twenties when we were still really finding out how to do life - was, "I feel like I just always need to bring you down a peg or two. Bring you back down to reality." In short, she was in my boat but she was not  rowing! It was an odd thing to continue reiterating with me when I was defying that very warning every day. As a kid, all I wanted was to grow up and move to America. Before I turned nineteen, I was living in Texas. Nineteen years later, I am still grateful every day that I am here, wi